Your Child's Dosha
Set your child up for mind-body love
As a grown-up, working with your Dosha is pretty cool (if I do say so myself). However, working with your child’s Dosha is far cooler. Today we will talk about:
The tell signs for Vata, Pitta and Kapha in how they might show in your young
My personal recommendations for how to help them blossom in their element
🌸 Read the whole thing? Let me know by replying which Dosha you think your child has, along with any questions and I will be in your inbox with answers soon! 🌸
“Dosha”, your Mind-Body Type, is arguably one of the most used words in everyday Ayurveda. Your Dosha evolves with you, your surroundings and your life cycles. Working with it is like slowly getting to know your lover. Every day allows you to grow a deeper understanding and become more intimate. Simultaneously, a Scorpio-like mystery remains around your Mind-Body relationship: your Dosha is fluid and changes all the time. The journey never stops.
For a quick recap on the foundations of each Dosha (Vata, Pitta and Kapha), go to this pod I recorded last year.
As a grown-up, working with your Dosha is pretty cool (if I do say so myself). However, working with your child’s Dosha is far cooler.
Here’s why. At birth, and during the months that follow Bubba’s natural Doshic DNA is untouched. Untouched! That means that you can, quite effortlessly, observe under which conditions they are (literally) in their element. You are setting them up for a life of understanding their mind, their body, their preferences and challenges. And whilst they are under your wing, you can help them prevent accumulation.
According to Ayurveda, accumulation is at the root of all disturbances in the body and mind.
A little bit of something can be tolerable, good, or even medicinal. But too much of the same thing opens the pathway to imbalances.
For example: as a child, I loved apples. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But picky as toddler-me used to be, I started to only love apples. In fact, I loved them so much that you will spot an apple in my hand in all of my childhood pictures. A few years down the line, a persistent rash appeared on my top lip. After a tiring process of GP visits, dermatologist references and medication trials, a simple allergy test revealed that we weren’t dealing with dermatitis. This rash was my skin reacting to certain acids found in apples. We replaced my beloved apples with other seasonal fruits, which I ended up loving just as much. The rash disappeared in days. After years of no exposure, an occasional apple went down trouble-free. Now, I can have them once a day. The rash hasn’t appeared for 18 years.
Ayurveda’s overexposure theory goes far beyond allergies.
It all starts with the five senses. It may happen through smell, taste, vision, touch or hearing. Almost nothing beats a fresh breeze, but lots of winds will hurt your ears (touch and hearing). The wind is a force that falls under the “Air element”. So if you or your little one have more Air element-related accumulations, that wind might just be the last straw you needed to catch a cold. Just to paint the full picture, other Air element-related triggers for accumulation include iced or fizzy drinks, raw food, bare feet, inadequate sleep, skipping meals, the absence of downtime, voice overuse and jarring sports or movements.
Although Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Space all have their own triggers and pathology, the story is similar for each one of the five elements.
And because like increases like, your child is most likely to accumulate whichever element they’ve got in their birth Dosha.
Curious about what that looks like in your child’s daily life? Here’s a story about Vata, Pitta and Kapha and how they show in your little one’s looks, preferences, natural talents and challenges.
The Vata Child (Air + Space)
Your Vata babe will go under nicknames like Tinkerbell, Acrobat, Birdy or Picasso. They have an incredible amount of energy, which may diffuse just as quickly as it seemed to immerse. Vata’s young are flexible, chirpy and are blessed with enough imagination to rewrite all the contents of your bookcase. They are both sociable and highly adaptable, but may not receive the space they need to flourish when constantly exposed to groups. Their appetite can be erratic, and they may rely on healthy snacks or a higher number of smaller meals throughout the day to stay nourished during these erratic or “picky” phases. Because they are quite sensitive to temperature and sounds, they may wake frequently. From toddlerhood onwards, their imagination (“The branch is a monster!”) or persistent discomfort (cold feet, wetness or a creaking window) may then keep them from snoozing into their next sleep cycle.
Tips and Tricks
As Vata’s parent, it’s important to offer your child a safe space to explore their imagination and creativity, with lots of opportunities to both: unwind and calm down. Teach them to breathe through overwhelm and to focus on soothing sounds easily found in their environment, such as their own heartbeat, the wind or chirping birds.
The essential oils of Frankincense, Lavender and Rose will work wonders when your little one is nervous. Warm meals and comforting snacks with lots of fibre will keep their gut and nervous system stable. Avoid snacks that crunch (although they will love it!), as these tend to create more air in their digestive system. The same rule applies to talking whilst chewing food.
When going outside to unwind, never forget to layer up and wear socks and a scarf as soon as Mr Wind is present.
If your Vata child learns how to keep a routine, direct their energy inwards, breathe and advocate for their needs, this fast-paced world will be their Oyster.
The Pitta Child (Fire + Water)
Little Pitta’s are protective, fiery, know what they want and don’t get tired. Although they might object when it’s time to snooze - “I am busy!” followed by smart tricks to stretch that bedtime out as far as they possibly can - once snug into bed they can access sound sleep without much fuss. “Sleeping through the night” doesn’t mean a 12-hour-long dream to them. Instead, they wake ready for the day after nine or ten hours (decreasing to eight to ten hours when they hit their teens). If your little lion is of napping age, their nap will be on the longer end of the spectrum and feel sufficient.
Pitta’s tummy temperaments and how to design their meals
Pitta kids need to have their three daily meals on time. When food is delayed, they are known to get hangry, and a meltdown might be just around the corner. Other triggers for snappy behaviour are heat, thirst and delayed sleep. Room-temperature sips of water, coconut water or watermelon juice are good beverages to help your child keep their cool. Although their energy and mood will co-depend on what’s on their plate during meal time, you may want to consider cucumber, fresh berries, sweet figs, dates, organic full-fat yoghurt or a natural, homemade popsicle as snacks to help Pitta bridge the gap between meals. Finally, for breakfast, lunch and dinner, your little lion will need a higher protein ratio than the other Doshas. Think of a bowl topped with seeds, or dressed with a tahini dressing. Almonds, avocado, tempeh, lentils, black beans, chickpeas, freshwater fish, white chicken, turkey and egg whites are all good sources of protein. When choosing grains, amaranth, quinoa, wild rice and oats are good options. Make sure to soak and cleanse the grains and legumes before consuming them. Pitta can digest almost all veggies, either cooked or raw, and is happiest when eating with the seasons. Be aware of nightshades though, they should be enjoyed in moderation and never mixed with dairy. Spicewise, Pitta’s tummy appreciates it when black pepper is the hottest spice in their meal. Things like cayenne or red pepper may upset their tummy. Pitta tends to be anaemic, so you may want to consider a vitamin B complex if your household is vegetarian.
I did not mean to say so much about food, but Pitta’s most active chakra is the Solar Plexus (just under the Navel), so there’s just a lot of activity there! This is also why they are blessed with such willpower and endurance. When their environment allows it, your little one will be guided by their gut. Their vision is headstrong and they know to get things done most efficiently; whether this means getting a message across, getting their parent or peer to do something or getting their art project done. Pitta has an eye for detail and can change almost anything into something magical.
Tips and Tricks
One more thing: since Pitta is predominant in the Fire element, your little one will be bright. Don’t be surprised if they start correcting you at age two, or if your child asks for study time instead of playtime. Keep your child engaged through age-appropriate, playful challenges and teach her that enjoying life is an achievement in itself. Sense awareness will be of great help to the latter. Regularly doing things without a goal, the Shitali breath, timed meals, and breath-based sports rather than cardio will all help to keep your little lion at ease.
The Kapha Child (Earth + Water)
Your Kapha King or Queen has something in common with both other Dosha’s. Just like in the Pitta Dosha, the Water element is very present. Although in Kapha it gets to flow much more because there is no fire to dissolve the water. Without the Fire element, this Dosha is cool, just like the Vata Dosha. But there is no trapped air in Kapha, so it’s much easier to manage Kapha’s circulation and body temperature - so long as she engages in activities and consumes the right spice.
The loved one with the memory of an Elephant
Because Kapha has something in common with everyone, Kapha kids are typically seen as fairly easy children who will blossom regardless of the circumstances and find people to love them unconditionally, everywhere. This love is mutual. Kapha’s heart is generous, and they are a star in bonding. They are the glue that keeps people together, and friendships alive. People are not the only thing that Kapha’s bind together. They also bind their senses to events and happenings, leading to a really well-functioning long-term memory. At school, they will have to carefully spread out their study time, so that they only have to worry about small amounts at a time. Kapha’s endurance and planning skills are excellent, so this will work in their favour. It’s no surprise that your Kapha baby may very well end up in a management position.
Spice it up for a happy tummy
A Kapha tummy stays saturated for longer stretches compared to the other Dosha’s, so don’t worry if your kid’s appetite seems a little slow. So long as their number two’s are comfortable and their weight looks healthy they are getting enough nutrients. That said, it’s wise to be extra mindful of sugar intake during the day, as this can fill up their tummy too much to fit their nutrient-dense dinner. Choose water over fruit juice, and a healthy meal over snacks. Whole fruits are welcome of course. Unlike Pitta, Kapha can actually do with a little less protein. Vegetables are their most important source of nutrition (whilst still including all food groups with each meal). Spices are an important part of Kapha’s daily menu, as these optimise their metabolism and absorption. Consider fenugreek, coriander, cumin, mustard, a tiny bit of ground cloves, cinnamon and black pepper. A pinch of cayenne is welcome if your child likes spicy.
Tips and Tricks
All Doshas come with challenges, and although Kapha is typically the most fertile, resistant and strong Dosha, Kapha has got her battles, too. Allergies, especially seasonal ones, are on her list. Getting enough movement every day, healthy bowel movements and aroma therapy are all key factors to keep a reactive or mucousy respiratory system at bay. However, especially when Kapha outgrows her childhood, Kapha may need external motivation to keep moving. Turning a visit to the gym into a date with friends works well, and joining a team does the trick, too. Apart from team sports, climbing, dancing and swimming in natural waters will all make a Kapha body happy.
Lastly, Kapha loves to sleep. Sleeping from eight to eight? No problem. Waking up at night is not their cup of tea. But taking an extra nap during the day definitely is. When Kapha hits her teens and feels lethargic, the trick might be to reduce the amount of sleep to whatever is considered healthy for their age group. Ayurveda’s best advice is to wake up before sunrise to avoid lethargy once Kapha has said goodbye to childhood.
One more thing: when Kapha’s are feeling out of balance (as a result of accumulating the Water and Earth element), they tend to be clingy. So if your little one’s a Kapha and they suddenly cling to you more than they would usually do it might mean a number of things, under which:
She’s under the weather
They have had less quality time with a parent, caretaker or friend
His allergies are playing up
They haven’t joined enough activities
She has spent too much time indoors
His food has been too heavy, oily, sugary or there’s been a lack of colours on his plate
If bullet point #1 is your little one’s case, give her homemade vitamin C cocktails (oranges, kiwis, peppers, leafy greens), almond milk spiced with turmeric, black pepper and vanilla, and medicinal elderberry & echinacea syrup. Triphala syrup might be worth a try, too, especially when bowel movements have been slow, sticky or heavy.
In all other cases: simply counterbalance the situation 💓
Do you have a Kapha queen/king, little lion or Picasso? Tell me by replying to this e-mail, along with any questions and I will be in your inbox with answers soon! For those who are ready to deep dive into their child’s dosha to set them up for a solid foundation of mind-body love, my “Play, Rest & Digest” session might be for you!
Signing off with love,
Deborah Rose x